jpw3: The Book of My Life
Introduction
This project intends to be a book about my life, although it's more of a collection of essays, scraps, lists, and other resources than an actual book, and I don't expect to ever complete any of it.
Other than possibly to find typos and other minor errors to correct, I do not intend to use so-called "Artificial Intelligence" in the creation of this work. These are my words, typed by my hands. Specifically, I'm using LibreOffice Writer, VSCodium, git, and github with Fedora Linux running on a Lenovo Laptop, most frequently with an external keyboard, monitor, and mouse.
I write this primarily for my children, but not talking to them directly. I chose to write my life story because it seems to be the only thing that I can do that someone else would be unable to do, as each of us lives a different life. I believe that my experience has been distinctly unique. While I have experienced significant trauma, my life has also included some entertaining stories that may provide some guidance so that others can avoid mistakes like those that I have made.
Unfortunately, each of us needs to make our own mistakes and learn our own lessons. Because what we call common sense is based on walking our individual paths, there really is no such thing as common sense. Maybe in writing this, readers may be able to absorb some of what I consider to be my common sense, and hopefully benefit as a result.
I started writing this in October of 2025, at the age of 52, although it contains wholesale and rewritten fragments writen previously, some as early as thirty years ago. My memory has always been terrible, especially for the events of my own life. The human body is a fallable instrument cluster and the humand mind can be a deceptive place.
Though I have tried to place things in approximately chronological order, I am certain that I have made errors. Still, I try to avoid constant use of phrases such as "if I remember correctly" - I accept that while this is not a work of fiction, it is not exactly accurate factually either.
While I have always had some guilt about my sexual transgressions, especially cheating on committed partners, writing this has reminded me of many deatils that are more than just embarassing. I expect that some readers will interpret many of these stories as me taking advantage of women. To be clear, I never really pushed women with whom I was not in relationships for anything, but instead just accepted what they offered. To be honest, I have always wanted to be completely happy with just one woman, preferably from the beginning, and that she would not have been in other relationships either.
I'm specifically concerned about things I write about my ex-wife, Susan. I know that this is one-sided, that I am imperfect, and that my suffering results from my own karma. At the same time, I honestly cannot describe how much damage this woman did to me and my life, permanently. I don't think that I deserved all of this suffering from Susan as a result of my actions in life to that point, but it also does not justify my subsequent behavior. None of that was intended to hurt Susan and apparently it didn't really have that effect. In fact, many of those actions that I thought would bring short-term pleasure have only caused me more suffering in different ways over the long term.
I think that Susan often brought out the worst in me, and many of my poor behaviors in that relationship have been both reactionary to her presence in my life and consistent with who I told her I was from the beginning.
Note that some of the content, especially on psychology, consists of excerpts copied verbatim from Wikipedia.
##TODO: Table of Contents
Bibliography
This list includes media that has influenced me somehow.