General Guidance
This chapter, which I originally titled The Infinite List because it can grow indefinitely, contains perspetives for general guidance through life.
Make Good Decisions, Especially the Important Ones
To Partner or Not to Partner
To Prioritize Career or Enjoyment
Find the Balance
To Own a Home or Not to Own a Home
To Have Children or Not to Have Children
Before you make any decision or take any relevent risk, consider carefully whether you want children, which is a lifetime commitment. Think about all of the implications, costs, and responsibilities of parenting.
If you don't want children, then don't date people that have children or want children. Wear two condoms, regardless of what the other person says.
Bettter yet, if you are sure that you will never want children, then get a vasectomy. Be honest about your decision and whether you've had surgery. This can actually make your online dating profile more attractive, because many women also do not want children. Vasectomy's are reversible.
If you don’t want children, then the last thing that you want is children. Regardless, one of the next to last things you want is venereal disease.
To Have Faith without Believing in God
Stay Curious
Do The Research
Look up words that you don't know in a dictionary.
Research topics that are unfamiliar, such as using Wikipedia.
People Do Not Change
People can change, but they rarely do. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. If someone does not behave well, avoid that person.
Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. Someone that lies or cheats is likely to lie or cheat again.
It Could Be Much Worse
People Lie
It can be difficult for a person that considers themself to be honest to come to grips with this fact, but everyone lies, including you, and this is not always a bad thing. Society wouldn’t work without some level of dishonesty. Some people lie more than others.
People Do Not Know What They’re Doing
Your author’s younger son suggested this one while working on this book together.
The Person Ahead of You Pulls You
We’re all standing on the shoulders of the giants. You are learning from others and have a responsibility to help those behind you forward. Surround yourself with people that will help you move foward, and help the people behind you.
A Guru Needs a Student
Share Your Common Sense
Your common sense is based on your unique experiences, many of which may not be shared. Sharing what you consider to be common sense can benefit others.
###If Something Sounds Too Good to be True, It Is
Perfectionism Is the Enemy of Good
Misery Loves Company
You Don’t Own Things; They Own You
All You Own Is Your Time
A Place for Everything, and Everything in Its Right Place
Invest in storage and organization solutions. Consider labeling the places for things. If there is no proper place for something, discard it.
Bidets Are Great
A Stitch, in Time, Saves Nine
The sooner you address a challenge, the less impact that issue will have, and the less likely it will be to lead to a catastrophe.
You Build Yourself
You build your perspective. You build your world. You live in your mind.
Impossible vs. Almost Impossible
There’s an infinite difference between impossible and almost impossible.
Some People Just Are Not Worth the Effort
Or, as 311 expressed it in the song Beautiful Disaster, “Some people really suck.” Some people are truly bad, truly toxic, truly uninterested in improving themselves, damaging to themselves and those around themselves, and truly not worth your time and effort. Learn to identify and get away from people with unacceptable traits, outlooks, goals, strategies, tactics, and values as quickly as possible. Don’t feel guilty for abandoning people who refuse to make efforts to improve themselves, to be better friends and partners, and to contribute what you are willing to contribute.
Your Life Is About You
Your life is about you. Avoid making it about anyone else.
Most of the Internet (Humanity) is Bullshit
What Can They Offer
Before committing to another person, determine what they have to offer. While people often prefer to believe that relationships are not transactional, in truth they often are. A person works for their boss because they receive money in exchange for their efforts. A committed intimate relationship can only work of both parties contribute in equal measure - not necessarily with the same goods and services, but with equivalent effort. Exit relationships in which the other party does not offer approximately what you will. There are always other people that you can befriend and with whom you can enter intimate relationships. Be patient and choose the best partners in both business and personal relationships, especially in starting a company or committing to monogamous intimacy for the long term.
Success Is Just Around the Corner
Before you cut your losses, beware that success is often just around the next corner.
Frog in Boiling Water
It’s not actually true, but in a common metaphor, a frog stays in a pot of water as the temperature increases and fails to jump out even when the water boils, killing the frog. Myriad circumstances can elicit this behavior in humans.
Misery Loves Company
What's the point of being miserable if you don’t have anyone with whom to share it? Beware of people that want to share their misery with you.
10,000 Hours
A common idiom states that achieving mastery in any skill requires an investment of 10,000 hours of practice. Consider this carefully when deciding how to use your time. If you invest 10,000 hours, you can likely be an expert at anything. Keep your nose to the grindstone, but don’t grind it off.
Sound Mind, Sound Body
Carpe Diem
Your Body Is Your Temple
Persistence Pays
Effort, especially sustained effort, leads to happiness. Pursue your goals tenaciously. For example, when you apply for a job that you really want, do your best to follow up repeatedly with the hiring manager. The more present you appear, the greater your likelihood of making a positive impression that may get you an interview and eventually the position.
Ladders Are Dangerous
Ladders may be the most dangerous tool that you will ever use. Follow ladder safety rules such as:
- Selecting the appropriate ladder for the task.
- Check ladder condition before use.
- Ensure that the ladder user has the required physical capabilities.
- Configure the ladder to be level and safe.
- Move the ladder when appropriate and beware of its surroundings in each new position.
- Never lean or reach far from the ladder.
- Never take more than one limb (one hand or one foot) from the ladder. In general, avoid carrying tools and materials up or down the ladder. Have someone hand them to you when you are in the right position or use a rope or other conveyance.
- Only take small steps up and down the ladder.
- When leaning a ladder, position the base of the ladder at a distance from the structure of one fourth the height of the point of contact between the ladder and the structure.
- Climb down slowly and cautiously, facing the ladder.
Kitchens and Bathrooms Are Dangerous
While some of this may be most relevent to elderly and disabled persons, it applies to everyone. Kitchens and bathrooms are the most dangerous rooms in the house, kitchens due to fires and bathrooms due to slips. Check for an appropriate number of functional smoke and carbon monoxide detection systems monthly. Change all batteries before they expire. Ensure bathrooms have stabilization bars and textured floor surfaces.
The Four Agreements
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom is a self-help book by the author Don Miguel Ruiz. The book outlines a code of conduct, supposedly based on Toltec teachings that purport to improve one’s life.
These are basically four suggested commitments to make with yourself that the author believes result in greater life satisfaction.
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don’t make assumptions. For example, when something is missing, don’t assume that someone stole it. More than likely, it’s where you left it, and you simply misplaced it or forgot where you put it. This is especially true when you try to hide something from others and then forget that you hid it or where you last hid it.
- Don’t take things personally.
- Do your best.