Dos and Don'ts

Do not do the things in the list of people to avoid.

Do Not Be Overconfident

Try to avoid overconfidence, as certainty is a rarity. Acting like you know something and then learning that you are wrong makes you look like an idiot and feel bad about yourself.

Do Not Assume

You've probably heard the expression:

to assume is to make an "ass" of "u" and "me"

Do Not Accuse Others

When something goes missing, do not accuse others of having stolen it. Chances are, you misplaced it. Accusations are, or at least appear, as projection, where you assume that others have your traits. In other words, in addition to looking paranoid, mean, and so forth, accusing others of stealing can make you appear as someone who might be a thief; accusing others of lying can cause others to question your honesty.

Take care of your Teeth

• Go to the dentist regularly and follow their advice.
• Floss at least once daily. Use a water pick if possible, potentially one that functions in the shower rather than on the counter.
• Don’t use your teeth to carry things.
• Don’t use your teeth to open things, such as packages.
• Don’t use your teeth to trim your nails.
• Don’t use your teeth for anything other than their intended purposes.
• Be careful when putting anything hard near your teeth, even cups and bottles. I once chipped a tooth on a bong.

Take Care of Your Eyes

• Wear safety goggles.
• On motorbikes, keep your visor down.
• See an optometrist regularly.
• Keep your eyes clean.
• Keep your fingers out of your eyes.
• Get and use classes, contacts, or surgey if needed.

Take Care of Your Hands

• Wear gloves.
• Your hands are not tools.

Use the Right Tool for the Job

• Your teeth are almost never the right tool.
• Your hand is not a hammer.

Create and Enforce Boundaries

• Define boundaries
• Enforce boundaries
• Respect boundaries
• Avoid those that don't have boundaries
• Avoid others that don't respect boundaries

Set Your Expectations and Theirs

Do Not Use Another Entity's Property without Permission

Do Not Betray Trust or Confidentiality

Make Suggestions or Requests rather than Demands

Do Not Treat Others in a Patronizing or Condescending Manner

Do Not Manipulate Others for Your Personal Gain

Do Not Use Aggressive or Passive-Aggressive Language

Do Not Resort to Physical or Emotional Abuse

Enjoy Your Work

Find Your Flow

Don’t Advertise Your Self-Improvement Efforts

Take Your Passion with You

Follow it when you can, but take it with you otherwise, and try to apply it to everything.

Plan Your Life

"Failing to plan is planning to fail." (possibly Winston Churchill)

Set goals, define plans, determine a timeline, and hold yourself accountable. Spend the time to determine who you want to be, where you want to live, what you want to do, and with whom you want to do those things.

Make the Best of Everything

Maintain a Youthful Mindset

Exercise Your Sense of Humor

Don't Take Anything Too Seriously

Most things are bullshit, or at best, meaningless.

If something upsets you, think about how little it matters to other people or in the long run. One hundred years from now, who is going to know or care?

Biohacking

Research and follow biohacking techniques.

• Wikipedia: Biohacking

Apply If Needed and then Silence Your Critical Inner Voice

If you have low self-esteem and constantly criticize yourself, holding yourself to impossible standards, it’s very likely that you have internalized and expanded on invalid criticism from your parents.

Don’t Criticize the Interests of Others

Identify Motives and Weaknesses

Identify the motivations and weaknesses of yourself and others. If you can understand people’s motivations, you can align your objectives with theirs and get them on your side. If you understand your own motivation, you can achieve greater control over yourself.

Measure Twice, Cut Once

Do Not Complicate Your Life

Keep your life as simple as possible. Minimize your commitments, especially to others. Your job is a commitment. Your home is a commitment. Your relationship (if you have one) with a significant other is a commitment. Children are huge commitments. Pets are commitments. Collections are commitments. School is a commitment. Volunteering is a commitment. Sports teams in which you participate are commitments. Any appointments that you make, such as for a dental cleaning or to donate blood, are commitments. Consider carefully before making these commitments.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make any commitments. In fact, commitments are unavoidable. Always consider the tradeoffs. If you get a pet, it will interfere with your ability to travel. Children will consume all your time and energy, restrict your freedoms, and cost a great deal of money.

Be Patient

Delay Gratification

One of the best traits that you can develop is the ability to pursue delayed gratification. Rather than doing what feels good in the moment, focus on the long-term benefits of your actions. Things that please you in the short term, such as unhealthy food, often have negative long-term impacts, such as weight gain. Things that can be unpleasant in the short term, such as work and exercise, often have positive long-term impacts, such as financial freedom and health.

Before engaging in an activity, weigh the short-term and long-term benefits, and try to focus on the long-term. This doesn’t mean that you should not seek any immediate pleasure, but that you should balance the advantages for your future against immediate sensations.

Play the Long Game

Focus on the long-term results of your actions rather than their short-term impacts. Because the gains of sustained efforts over a greater period are likely to be larger than the result of anything that you can do immediately, playing the long game is a better strategy.

Pay Attention to Body Language, Facial Expressions, and Tone of Voice

Stick to Your Guns

If you are sure of your decision, stick to it. You have the authority to say no to requests, to decline invitations, and to make your own choices about everything. Only change your mind if you are certain that circumstances warrant reconsideration. If you let others control your decisions, you will likely achieve lesser happiness.

Recognize Your Strengths; Work on Your Weaknesses

Beware the Monkey Mind

Journal

Learn from How Others Live

Maintain the Higher Ground

Avoid giving up the higher ground to appease others. Be true to yourself and maintain your virtues.

Avoid Collecting Things

Maintain Your Privacy

Don’t disclose everything to everyone.

Control What You Can; Recognize What You Cannot Control

Recognize what is in your power to control, which is primarily your thoughts, actions, and reactions. Accept what is not in your power to control. Be aware of what you control and what you can’t.

Let Go of Guilt

Do the Hard Part First

Live within Your Means

Always Be Ready and Prepared

Being ready for anything lets you respond with equanimity. Don’t have high expectations of other people.

//TODO: Day Carry

//TODO: Go Bag

//TODO: Sports Bag

//TODO: Camping Gear

Make Your Bed

Keep your space clean.

Follow the Money

Dress for Success

Be comfortable to the extent possible, but your appearance matters. Dress for the job that you want, not the job that you have.

Minimize Screen Time

Especially social media.

Buy Low, Sell High

Whether in the real estate market, the stock market, or anywhere else, beware of irrational exuberance. When everyone else invests, it is often a good time to sell. When everyone else panics and sells, it is often a good opportunity to buy. Avoid selling when the market is down.

Maintain a Growth Mindset

You can always learn and grow. You can always improve yourself, your habits, your environment, your home, your career skills, your handyman skills, your sense of humor, your knowledge and intellect, and the lives of those around you.

Do Not Share Explicit Images

Don’t share explicit images - of yourself, of your partner, of strangers, of anyone. Just don’t.

Do Not Waste Your Time

Stay mentally occupied. Read a book. Listen to a podcast. Learn a new language. Develop a hobby. Play games to sharpen skills such as memory. Engage with your community. Participate in social events.

Your life is basically your time. If you want to make the most of life, or even just have a good life, then use your time wisely. Always be doing something, with the awareness that entertainment and relaxation are both valid endeavors worthy of significant investment.

If you love your work, then it won’t seem like work, and you should work. At the same time, avoid letting other areas of your life suffer due to overworking yourself. Specifically, focus on your friendships and family relationships and using your free time to develop activities, habits, and hobbies that will serve you well over your entire life.

Media and especially the internet can have unfathomable value, be can also be infinite time sinks. Restrict your consumption time and use these resources wisely - to maintain meaningful relationships, to develop skills and knowledge, and for entertainment that is non-detrimental.

Be Careful with News

Especially pop culture.

Do Not Follow the Herd

Read and Pay Attention

Always read. Conduct thorough research. Follow references. When you encounter a word with which you are unfamiliar or the meaning of which you are unsure, look it up. Listen to and read the lyrics of songs. Listen to the whole album.

Do Not Try to Be Someone Other Than Yourself

Do Your Research

The more prepared you are for any situation, the greater your likelihood of a more positive experience. For example, when you apply for a job, the more information you have about the company, its products and services, and its people - especially those with whom you will interact - the higher the likelihood that your conversations will go well and that you will get the position. This applies in all areas of life. The wider your range of knowledge, the greater success you will have in a variety of circumstances. What makes you an expert on a topic is knowing just a bit more than the other person.

Do Not Trust Anybody

Take Your Time; Do Not Rush

Don’t rush; take your time, especially regarding major decisions. Check people’s online profiles before moving forward.

• Play the long game.
• Delay gratification.
• Patience is a virtue.
• Persistence pays.

Always Be Prepared to Cut Your Losses and Walk Away

Regardless of what you have invested in anything - an education, a relationship, a job, a business, a house, anything - be prepared to cut your losses by walking away. It can be difficult to make such decisions after putting significant time, effort, money, or other resources into an endeavor, but continuing to double down on a bad bet will simply increase your losses in the long term. Learn to identify when it’s time to walk away.

Do Not Act Against Your Own Morals or Ethics

Pick Your Battles

Do Not Take Anything Too Seriously

Lose (or at Least Crack) Your Ego

Embrace Minimalism

Set Goals but Focus on the Process

Make Incremental Improvements

Nobody can change completely overnight. Someone who is overweight cannot, and arguably should not, change all their habits overnight. If they did, they would likely fail, which would further erode their self-confidence, and then suffer a boomerang of overeating as they give up on exercise and other lifestyle changes.

Make small efforts to improve daily and recognize the small successes that eventually add up to significant transformation.

Don’t Overplay Your Hand

Identify and Emulate Your Heroes

Identify, research, and emulate great people that you admire. If you can’t identify any potential heroes, follow the Buddha or Jesus or anyone that is valid.

Give Yourself Permission to Let Others Hate You for Being Who You Are

Don't be a people pleaser.

Don't get stuck trying to meet someone else's expectations of you.

Unless they fit you, don't try to conform to predefined roles such a father or husband.

Don’t Suffer Fools Gladly

Make Time for What Is Important to You

Make plenty of time for nature, camping, rivers, lakes, the ocean, the forests.

Avoid Addictive Vices

Don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or gamble.

Question Everything, Especially Customers and Authority

Curiosity is a virtue. Always be learning and exploring new interests, even if they are irrelevant to your career, and even if you will never have a conversation with anyone about some of the topics. The broader your fields of knowledge, the greater your understanding of the universe, of the world, and of human relations.

People like to talk, especially about themselves. Asking questions is a good way to get people to talk. If you ask people questions, they may be more likely to enjoy your company. Especially at first, avoid getting too personal with people who are uncomfortable with such questions, though you may find that some strangers immediately open up to you.

Do Not Answer Questions Unconsciously

It can be beneficial to avoid answering questions on various topics, and asking questions of others has the advantages stated previously. When someone asks a question, you may feel an instinctive desire to respond, or that it is rude to avoid responding. In many cases, at least delaying a response to clarify the question and to give yourself time to think can lead to a better response. In some cases, it is better to avoid answering certain questions completely. One tactic to this end is to respond to a question with a question, specifically to clarify the intent of the original question.

Beware (Rapid Onset) Romantic Love

Beware of romantic love. Relationships must be practical and are based on trusting friendships and honest communications.

When you think you are falling in love with someone, you are likely falling in love with someone that does not exist, but is actually your illusion of who they are, your expectations.

Beware of expectations set by American culture, such Disney stories with happily-ever-after endings. Relationships are difficult.

Be Especially Aware of Romance Scams

We live in a world full of fraud. A common form preys on lonely people, especially men. There are numerous types of romance scams, from women who will flirt in exchange for drinks to pig butchering, where contacts of unknown gender impersonate attractive women, befriend men, and fleece them of money. Be very careful who you trust, especially when money is involved, especially large sums of money.

Never Lend Money to Friends

Never “lend” money to friends for any purpose. You are very unlikely to get that money back, and this can damage the relationship, even by creating a temporary imbalance.

Instead, when appropriate, gift money. This can be a good test of a friendship - if they never make any effort to reciprocate when they have the ability, they may not be a good friend.

Never Request or Expect the Return or of or Reciprocation for a Gift

Once you have given a gift of any sort, never request or expect its return or a gift in reciprocation.

Avoid Scheduled Gifting

Communicate clearly with others that you do not participate in gift exchanges. Set expectations that you will not reciprocate gifts for specific dates such as birthdays and Christmas.

Instead, when you think of someone, or when you see something that makes you think of someone, give them that thing regardless of the date.

Some people demand gifts on specific dates. Instead of waiting for the prescribed occurrence, stay on constant vigil for items that you can store for those occasions.

Track people’s interests to identify gifts that they will appreciate.

Do Not Put Anyone on a Pedestal

Never put someone else above you. While it is important to compliment people, especially partners, avoid excessive flattering, which will make you sound insincere and can put you at a disadvantage in relationships.

Be Demanding of Yourself and Others

Expect the most of yourself and of those around you. If you want to be happy, live up to your values and virtues and surround yourself with people that commit to similar objectives. Don’t accept mediocrity of yourself or of others in your life. Always strive for improvement, for making a greater effort, for achieving more, for contributing more to your own life and the lives of others.

Know Your Worth

Respect Yourself

Do Not React with Emotion; Respond with Logic

Always Buy the Same Style of Socks

If you always buy the same style of socks, you will end up with the missing sock problem at most once, and you will waste no time matching socks (except possibly by age).

Travel Extensively

Meet People Where They Are

Develop the ability to relate to anyone and everyone. Ask them something that creates an opening, such as “what’s the worst part of your job” (hint: it’s almost always something to do with people).

Avoid Making Promises and Commitments

You are always growing and changing. The person that you are today is not the same as the person that you are tomorrow, and should not be responsible for any commitments that you make today. One will have to keep the promises made by the other. Avoid making any promises or Commitments.

Consider Your Future Self

Imagine yourself in your old age looking back at yourself today, specifically the decisions that you make. What would that version of yourself tell you? What would they regret about the things that you are doing now? What would they like you to change?

Do Everything with Intention

Don’t do anything without intention.

Keep Your Mouth Shut

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. (Mark Twain)

In general, keep your mouth shut. Much of the time, it is better to observe and respond rather than replying and reacting. Unless you are so silent as to appear idiotic, people tend to think that quiet people have greater intelligence. Use caution before expressing yourself. Do not say anything unnecessary. Your words can be twisted, and anything that you say can be used against you. Be especially careful not to react, particularly with emotion. When something upsets you, absorb your feelings and use logic to respond rather than answering immediately, especially by getting upset. You may not want others to know all your honest thoughts, and you may say things that you only feel in the moment. Take time to sort through your feelings and strategize before answering. Listen; don’t talk. Silence is golden. In fact, it can be in your best interest if people think that you are stupid, especially when you surprise them later.

Draft and Discard

Rather than rushing out your initial reaction to a situation, draft a response, and then discard it. Draft another response and consider discarding that as well. Repeat this process until you are satisfied that you have created the best possible variant of your message. Construct your final response extremely carefully. And then consider discarding that response as well (see “keep your mouth shut”).

Journal your negative thoughts; don’t express them. When you have an urge to express something negative, rather than telling someone, write in your journal. People often don’t know what they think until they express it, and often express things that they don’t really mean, or express things counterproductively.

Say It Out Loud (to Yourself, Alone)

Especially when you ruminate on negative thoughts, say them out loud. This can help you to understand your thoughts and to get them out of your head. Create a voice recording with the idea of releasing it as a podcast for a specific individual or the public to hear. This process can cause you to realize how ridiculous some of your thoughts may be.

Do Not Burn Bridges

Be Present for Yourself and for Others in the Current Moment

Regret yesterday, yesterday. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Enjoy today, today. Note: It’s always today.

Choose Commitments Carefully

You only have so much time and energy. Before committing to anything, weigh it against the alternative uses of your resources, and be sure that you truly want that commitment for the long term. For example, having a pet is a significant commitment. Pets can add tremendous pleasure to your life, but they are also a significant responsibility that can have high costs and interfere with your ability to travel. They can also prevent interactions with people that have allergies and aversions to animals.

Follow Through

Follow through on what you begin, especially when you make a commitment.

Develop Life Skills

• Wikipedia: Home Economics

Learn to Cook

Learning to cook is very valuable for many reasons. If you know how to cook:

• You can have greater control over your diet and health.
• You can please yourself with food.
• You can please others with food.
• Relative to eating out, you will likely spend more money eating out.
• If needed, you can get a job in a kitchen.

Because there are so many cuisines and possible dishes, cooking can be an infinite skill. If you have a strong interest in cooking, especially combined with a healthy interest in nutrition (pun intended), you can never get bored.

Do Not Waste Your Mind and Memory

For example, don't cram your brain with memorized video game levels.

Know, Recognize, Believe, and Express Your Worth

Fake It Until You Make It

Do Not Believe in Fate

“You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice. If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill. I will choose a path that's clear. I will choose Freewill.” - RUSH

Believing in fate is dangerous. Choose freewill. Don’t believe that other people were put on your path. Life is random, not directed, just coincidence and chance occurrence. It is superstition and logical fallacy to speculate otherwise.

To Be or To Not Be Predictable

In some cases, such as when driving a car or a motorbike, you want to be predictable. In other cases, you might not want to do what everyone else would lkely do.

For example, after entering a public bathroom, many people will use the nearest stall or urinal. This will result in that being the most dirty and smelly unit, and also the most likely to be in use already. It might be worth your time to make the effort and walk a little farther than the average person would.

Avoid Horniness

Avoid actions based on sexual desire, as they will often lead you astray. Try to have sex with someone you love, want to treat well, and want to make happy, not strangers and certainly not someone you dislike or want to harm, degrade, or use in any way.

Avoid pornography and related things such as Only Fans. It's fake; most people don't have sex like actors in movies. Such media might teach you incorrect lessons about sex and relationships, leading to invalid thoughts and actions. It might make you more horny than you need to be. It could even result in fetishes, compulsive behaviors, and social isolation, such as through pornoholics, pornosexuals, gooners, and so forth.

Jordan Peterson's Twelve Rules

While success and fame eventually brought out his weaker personal characteristics, psychologist Jordan Peterson made some good points in his speaches and books.

Especially before he became successful and famous, psychologist and author Jordan Peterson (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jordan_Peterson) presented many useful perspectives. Some of his ideas have always been questionable at best, such as his apparent belief in a single Christian God, or that everyone should have children, or that a relatively low annual income figure would be sufficient for happiness for any individual. Still, his work influenced me enough to deserve mention and even summarization of his book Twelve Rules for Life (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/12_Rules_for_Life).

If life could be so simple as just twelve rules! But rules are infinite. In fact, Peterson himself wrote another book with twelve more rules. Focus on principles.

Twelve Rules for Life

1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back.
   • The basic point of this rule is to be aware of your posture. Your body sends signals to your brain and to the people around you. Supposedly, when you hunch, your posture tells your mind and anyone that sees you that you are fearful of danger, as it can be a defensive stance against blows from behind. Whether that’s valid or not, good posture is important, both in how you present yourself to others and in your own health and sense of self.
2. "Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping."
   • This rule may be applicable to a subset of the population, especially people-pleasers, who put more emphasis on assisting others than doing things for themselves. While helping others can be rewarding, it can also enable people to use you and treat you as a doormat, and is especially dangerous if you neglect yourself and your own needs in service to others.
3. "Make friends with people who want the best for you."
4. "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today."
5. "Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them."
6. "Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world."
7. "Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)."
8. "Tell the truth - or, at least, don't lie."
9. "Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't."
10. "Be precise In Your Speech."
11. "Do not bother children while they are skateboarding."
12. "Pet a cat when you encounter one in the street."

//TODO: image

Twelve More Rules for Life

1. "Do not carelessly denigrate social institutions or creative achievement."
2. "Imagine who you could be and then aim single-mindedly at that."
3. "Do not hide unwanted things in the fog."
4. "Notice that opportunity lurks where responsibility has been abdicated."
5. "Do not do what you hate."
6. "Abandon ideology."
7. "Work as hard as you possibly can on at least one thing and see what happens."
8. "Try to make one room in your home as beautiful as possible."
9. "If old memories still upset you, write them down carefully and completely."
10. "Plan and work diligently to maintain the romance in your relationship."
11. "Do not allow yourself to become resentful, deceitful, or arrogant."
12. "Be grateful despite your suffering."

//TODO: Walden page 87