My First Motorbike Accident

In Laos, I ride a Honda Wave 100, generally with a helmet and flip flops but no other gear, like most riders. Speeds are generally slow and wearing and carrying protective equipment is really hot. Because it has manual gearing and foot pegs on the sides, I would call it a 100cc motorbike rather than a scooter, meaning that it has a relatively small engine. I think my top speed is probably about 60km/hr. I gave Kham money to buy this bike shortly after we met in 2018, so it's about seven years old. Lately, it's felt pretty rickety, specifically the wheels, which often need new tubes.

I recently purchased a new helmet of better quality than my previous helmet, and with a clear visor as opposed to a sun shade, although I think it has minor darkening.

On Friday, 17 October, a woman came to my house in Laos looking for Kham, who was in the outdoor kitchen and didn't hear her calls. She left a birthday party invitation card. At first I thought that this was a nice custom, but on opening the card I found QR codes for making financial contributions. This is not unreasonable (almost everyone here is poor), but it was unexpected.

I've been to a large number of Lao parties. They're generally always the same - various Lao foods with everyone drinking beer until they develop the courage to dance to the music. I didn't want to go to the party and especially didn't want to drink. The music generally sucks, I don't know anyone, Kham and the children abandon me, the people don't speak English, I don't like most of the food, it's always too hot, and I stand out for being the sweating white guy there alone for no apparent reason.

Instead, I wanted to go to a nice falang restaraunt, most likely Ai Capone's (great pizza but I generally order the beef ravioli - trying to do what I can for my health). I probably would have had a caraffe of wine and a salad while eating slowly and reading a book alone. Then I would have gone to the bars, though I planned not to drink alcohol (I now pay for soda water); I just wanted some conversation in English and to dance.

We compromised, meaning that I went to the party, Kham wanted the family to go together in the car. I knew from past experiences that this would trap me at the party for hours, until she decided to leave. So I followed her on the motorbike. She said that I could leave after finishing one beer.

At first, the party was very uncomfortable for me. I was the only white person there, the music was incredibly loud and annoying, there was no food that I wanted to eat (despite people pushing things towards me, which I either have to eat or rudely decline), and I was sweating like a horse. With the woman sitting next to me, I was able to have the same limitted conversation in broken English that I've had dozens of times at such events, discussing where I'm from, what I think of Lao, their relationship with the USA, and so forth.

I drank my beer (a large Beer Lao). One good thing in this context is that in Laos, beer is often served with ice, which means I also drank some water. I had a couple of pieces of beef and part of an egg pancake, but nothing like a meal.

At some point, another woman showed up at the table. I've net her before - Kham took me to her house because she wanted to buy it. This woman actually seems pretty cool, like she has worked internationally in the entertainment industry. Her English is not as limitted as most. She and I danced a few times (Kham says she prefers to watch rather than dance), which was actually enjoyable. A couple of other white people showed up but there were no introductions.

Over these few hours, Kham encouraged me to drink two more large beers. Someone came buy with a galon jug of home-made rice whiskey, which is often dangerous for me. Even with water and food, this would generally be enough to get me at least tipsy, if not drunk, especially on an empty stomach, and particularly because my tolerance is down from not drinking much lately.

After a few dances, I decided that it was time for me to go. I got the motorbike out of the mud patch where I had parked it and down the loose gravel driveway. I didn't have any problems getting to the bars; I actually felt pretty sober (feeling and breathing the fresh wind on a ride can help with that). My man Mark that runs the Yankee bar that generally has the most interesting English speakers was away caring for his child, there was no weed for sale, and there did not appear to be any interesting customers, so I went to a nearby bar where the female owner seems to really like me.

I think I had two soda waters, but she broke out the whiskey, and I think I had a shot or two. Once I start drinking, I have a bad habit of continuing until it's too late.

After that, I went to Wind West, which I consider to be the best music club in Vientiane, though it starts relatively late and seems to feature the same musicians every Friday and Saturday night. I don't remember ordering water, but I don't think I had more than two small Beer Laos, and I was there for quite some time.

The woman who had been at the party showed up and we danced together a bit, but I also danced with the woman who owned the other bar, and probably a few other people. My memory is hazy even when I don't drink.

What I didn't do was eat or sleep. It was getting late and I decided to head home. I seemed fine on the motorbike. Then I apparently either blacked out, or lost memories after the accident. So, I don't actually know the cause. Maybe I was too drunk. Maybe it was dark and I hit sand or gravel or a slick spot or something else on the road (I've seen wrenches, rebars, and so forth).

Some video taken during the cleanup shows that I am conscious, and also triggered some memroies. I don't know who took the video. I must have been somewhat communicative, because I must have given someone my phone pin and Kham's name. Since I didn't have a working SIM, they must have connected me to a Wifi. It appears that I or they tried to call Kham numerous times, but unfortunately Kham's name in my phhone is associated with a secondary phone that she doesn't monitor well.

I list Kham's primary phone under Wendy and apparently wasn't cognizent enough to think of this at the time. WhatsApp shows at least fifteen attempts to call Kham between 3:15AM and 3:53AM. There's also a record of an unanswered video call to Wendy (Kham's primary phone number) at 3:22AM. Then there's a record of a missed video call from Kaham at 5:19, when she may have woken up to realize I was missing. Then there's a text asking where I am and a 45 second video call that I don't remember. Following that are photos and videos from the accident scene.

In the video, I appear to be drunk and crying. A guy that sounds like he has a Scottish tells me not to cry. In my memory, I might be tearing up a little, but I'm not actually crying. It's something more like a near-death experience, thinking about everything I've done for people including my children, but mostly thankful that people are helping me.

I think I woke up at a Lao hospital around 7:30AM Saturday morning. I think Kham and the children were there. To be honest, the pain has not very been bad, partly because my feet have never been very sensitive, but possibly also because of the drugs. I had cuts and scrapes and bruises in various places. Even though I had been wearing a helmet, somehow I had a black eye, plus a couple of bruises and/or scrapes on my face.

The worst visible injury was my right foot. Apparently, I broke two toes, pretty deep within the foot. The hospital staff were great, but the facilities were a bit sparse. After a couple of days, we moved to a Thai hospital.

A few days later, after a spinal block for surgery at the Thai hospital, the surgeon showed me a photo on his phone. It appeared that my foot was almost cut in half. There was at least one pin in my foot and something that looks like a tube for discharging fluids. The main concern at this point was infection, as the surgen had cleaned at least dirt, grass, and glass out of the wound.

I stayed in the Thai hospital for a couple more days. They stopped giving me painkillers, although I had access to acetomenephen (partly to reduce swelling - my right foot was huge). Then I went to my house, but returned to the hospital or a clinic daily to clean and dress my foot.

The most painful part was actually my ribcage, both front and back on the left. I think I must have rolled, apparently on my left arm. An X-ray didn't show any broken ribs, but healing took weeks. Little things like sitting up and especially sneezing were extremely painful.

My Casio G-Shock watch took some damage but apparently protected my left wrist a bit. My arms and hands and legs and my left shoulder all had pretty serious road rash in seemingly random places.

One challenge was the crutches, especially for the stairs in the house. Using them repeatedly caused the scabs on my hands to re-open. Bending my knees also caused those injuries to stay fresh.

I told Kham that I wouldn't be going to parties and things that I didn't want to attend and that I wanted to stop drinking and for her to stop buying alcohol for the house. She interpreted this as me blaming her for the accident, which I had not suggested explicitly. I think that she had already realized that she had been part of the cause. This caused tension between us for several days, to the point where I wanted to go to Chiang Mai or even the USA.

I had purchased a hotel for Sunday night and a flight to Thailand Monday, but I had to cancel those plans, which included a ten-day Buddhist retreat. Medical incapacitation was something like a retreat, as I was unable to use electronics or read much, leaving me quite a bit of time to think. I mostly rested for the first few days but started to recover strength by the end of the first week.